NORMALITY (FOR FFOREGGUB ASAP)

Sheila Thrixton was an ordinary sort of housewife in most peoples’ minds so it was fortunate she lived in a house with a secluded doorway.  Otherwise the neighbours would have seen the milkman enter on Monday, the parcel delivery man on Tuesday and two other men for Wednesday and Thursday, only for the tables to be turned when Jim Thrixton ‘entertained’ a young woman on Friday who said she was a contraceptive demonstrator?
  Remove the fibreglass insulation from the attic roof so it could be replaced with foam?  A simple, innocent  task until Colin found out that Anne had bought him a rubber suit for doing the job, and a matching suit for herself merely to tease him with until he was about to lead her off to bed, and she changed her mind: it was time for her yoga. 
  It turned out to be the ‘lotus position in plastic mac bondage’ followed by crouched down in a tight stance with more bondage and finishing up in …….
  What happened to Nigel when he was naughty enough to have an erection?  Isla enclosed him in the punishment mac, cape, and a few other things, but an odd incident occurred: it didn’t seem to deter him from repeating his naughtiness, and later on she revealed how she had come to like plastic, rubber and bondage so much.
  As for Bob, he should have known what the consequences would be if he visited his mother-in-law Helen by himself when she was alone – and the consequences happened.
  When Sam and Mandy went tandem touring on their honeymoon, the lights in the barns they slept and had sex in were unexpectedly bright, but then CCTV works better in good lighting, and the farmers readily took to S and M’s mode of attire.
  Ewan Gough answered his door one day to Nicky, an attractive door-to-door saleswoman, and lent her a plastic mac when it rained.  She went on to sell every sort of item from Jean and Helen’s Rainwear Emporium and to ‘try them all out’ on Ewan to help her become better at selling them.  He riposted in kind and it led them both into  - well  -  into everything.
  When Zoë wanted a special birthday card for Ralph she thought a picture of her in complete bondage might be suitable and asked Shirley to help her arrange it with the result that Shirley became enticed into waterproof bondage – and cured her claustrophobia at the same time.  Painting and suitably unsuitable poem included

Cole C. Porter

Blackpool, England

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MAKING YOUR OWN BOOK

If you wish to print out and make your own souvenir book, bear in mind that this story was formatted in A5 in order to be a handy size and the best results will be achieved by printing in A5, although you may wish to print out the cover pictures in a larger size for separate appreciation, in which case I recommend glossy photo paper and the ‘best photo’setting on your printer.

If you don’t wish to buy A5 paper especially for the text part of the book, careful folding, creasing, and slitting some A4 paper with a sharp knife will suffice if you don’t have a guillotine, and will probably work out slightly cheaper.

If you have the time and patience to feed both sides of each page in small batches or have a printer that will print on both sides of the paper, that will reduce the bulk of the book. I recommend that you don’t try to print more than five sides at a time with a single-sided printer in case the printer misfeeds or you make a mistake in orientating the pages or arranging their sequence.

EQUIPMENT

Apart from the paper you will need: